To the moon Page 6

  Why won’t you love me? Why won’t you love me?

  David Duchovny, I want you to love me

  To kiss and to hug me, debrief and debug me

  David Duchovny, I know you could love me

  I’m sweet and I’m cuddly-I’m gonna kill Scully!

  My favourite thing ever though was when he told me that he used to make ‘mixed CDs’ for his then girlfriend-now-wife Avantika and affectionately referred to her as ‘The General!’

  IMRAN KHAN

  Actor

  I had been one of Malini’s regular listeners for ages, because out of half a dozen radio stations, her show was the only one playing English music. Everything else was a dystopian wasteland playing the same top 40 Bollywood tracks of the month. A chance encounter on Twitter got us chatting, and she invited me to be a guest on her show. I accepted, with one caveat; I get to pick the music, no holds barred.

  Surprisingly she agreed, and gave me free rein to put together a playlist that started at ‘eclectic’ and then went further left...this was a far cry from the radio-friendly pop her corporate overlords would have prescribed. There was only one logical name for our collaboration: Pirate Radio.

  We spent about three hours on the air, chatting about life, love, loss, and of course, music. We took live calls and fielded questions on Twitter. It was a blast. I think we touched a dormant chord that evening, engaging with people whose tastes were simply not being catered to; an audience hungry for content that no one was providing. Of course, it couldn’t last. We tried to do a few more shows, but there were always suggestions from up high that the content was too edgy, or that listeners might be ‘frightened off’ by unfamiliar music.

  Pirate Radio didn’t take flight, but Malini had an appetite for pushing boundaries, for venturing into new and uncharted areas. Over the years, we’ve worked on dozens of different projects, but I have to be honest: not one of them came close to the purity and excitement of that evening that the two of us just sat back, put on some killer tunes and chatted.

  I was also touched that he remembered the show years later (three years later in fact) as he was listening to the CD I had burned him of the show, and sent me this text. (Wow, remember when we used to ‘burn’ CDs?)

  Imran Khan: Long drive to my location on the outskirts of Chandigarh. Listening to Pirate Radio, remembering the good times. Hope you’re well.

  Me: How awesome that show was epic!

  RAHUL KHANNA

  Mention Rahul Khanna’s name and you’ll get a collective ‘Aaawwww, he’s so cute’, from all the girls. So, when HE agreed to come on the show, I felt like I was really on to something. Also, I got to hang out with THE Rahul Khanna for 3 hours and have him play me his favourite music, #winning.

  Never Gonna Give You Up!

  Me: I asked people on Twitter if they want to ask you any questions and we got a couple in. @Nakhrewali…

  Rahul Khanna: Superb!

  Me: …wants to know what you read, like what’s your favourite book?

  Rahul Khanna: I don’t have any one favourite book, I like fiction, I’ve just started The Moor’s Last Sigh by Salman Rushdie. It has been sitting on my bookshelf for almost 10 years and I decided I should start now. Contact me in another 10 years, I might have finished it by then.

  It’s 2017, no harm checking in.

  RAHUL KHANNA

  Actor

  I’m ashamed to admit that for some inexplicable reason, TMLS became my great white whale. I could no longer take it taunting me from my bookshelf and recently gave it away so that it could fulfil its destiny of being read by someone. If it’s meant to be, it will come back to me at some point and I might finally conquer it. Funnily, not so long ago, I found myself at a dinner party with Mr Rushdie in attendance and because of my inability to finish reading his work, I was too guilt-ridden to even look him in the eye (even though he would have had no idea why)!

  Also, MissMalini, I just remembered — that it was fun watching you boss around the all-male crew!

  To be fair he still has three years to go to finish that book. Perhaps by the time my sequel is out? Just kidding. But seriously, I have a two-book deal with HarperCollins, I better get cracking on the next one stat. If you have a suggestion on what it should be about, please feel free to tweet me @MissMalini with the hashtag #MMtothemoon.

  FARHAN AKHTAR

  Coordination wasn’t always easy, but I swear social media made it heaps easier than trying to do this via a publicist. You’d be surprised how chill celebrities are if you have the option to reach out to them directly. As I have learned over the years, it’s usually the army that surrounds them that makes it feel like a Fort Knox situation.

  Where Do You Go?

  Me: Who were you in college? Were you the nerd, were you the tough guy, were you the lover boy?

  Farhan Akhtar: I was the absentee.

  Me: LOL. Where did you go?

  Farhan Akhtar: I’d travel to college of course, so they knew that I’d gone there. I’d attend the first lecture…

  Me: Which college were you in?

  Farhan Akhtar: I was in HR, for the first two years. I’d go there, attend the first two lectures and head off to watch movies.

  Me: Really!

  Farhan Akhtar: Yeah, because we had Sterling, Eros…and at that time most English films were only shown in South Bombay. This was the only opportunity we got to watch English movies. I spent most of my time there, and then in my second year of college I was told off for very low attendance.

  Me: No way! But you can make up for that with all your extra-curricular stuff, did you do any of that?

  Farhan Akhtar: No! I told you I was watching movies!

  Me: Had they known it was research!

  Farhan Akhtar: Now it depends what your definition of cool is. Some people think being a very studious student is cool… some people thing being a brat and not attending anything is cool. Take your pick!

  There you have it, Farhan wasn’t too different from you or I, right? I once bunked college to watch Rangeela with my friends and that’s when I discovered Urmila Matondkar’s amazing new wardrobe. Many years later I discovered she’d been styled by Manish Malhotra and that wardrobe alone has been instrumental in catapulting him into the league of extraordinary fashion designers, especially those favoured by Bollywood.

  MANISH MALHOTRA

  Fashion designer

  MissMalini has been instrumental in starting a positive and forward vibe through blogs and has been the first in taking it to a whole new level of popularity and engagement from different people from different walks of life and ages...the reach has been phenomenal and I am sure she will take all of this to the next level and continue to get many engaged and aware of the changing trends from celebrity spotting to focusing on fashion, art and culture, and I celebrate all of this with the very wonderful MissMalini.

  PS. Earlier this year, for my first season of Inside Access on Vh1, I went over to shoot at Farhan’s house and he played us an original song he wrote on his guitar called ‘If love isn’t enough’. I immediately fell in love with it (I’m emo like that) and I think you will too! Go watch Episode 1 on Voot.com and hear it for yourself. My favourite lyrics from it go like this:

  If love isn’t enough to keep us together

  To keep us protected in the stormy weather

  If love isn’t enough to ease our sorrow

  To smoothen the roads that lead to tomorrow

  And yes, life could get tough and sure times could get rough

  But no matter what we do, there’s no chance we’re going to make it through, if love isn’t enough.

  *Just a friendly pop-up here to tell you that Section 4 of this book is filled with all the business knowledge I could possibly drop. Head right over if that’s what you came for.

  Blog #24: The Friday Club and #PartySoulmates

  Before we go ‘Off Air’ I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you about the ‘Friday Club’. The genesis of this club is hil
arious. Diya and I had started hanging out and were the chief instigators of getting a bunch of people from work to go bar-hopping now and again, and by which, I mean every Friday. We were also those people who would order shots and play drinking games when we went out, yup in public! One day we were discussing how it’s funny that all these bars were full of people just ‘like us’, but it was odd that no one ever actually got up to interact with anyone aside from the people they came with. Was it an Indian thing? (I hesitate to say it, but I feel it’s more of a Delhi than Bombay problem.) Pure shyness? Or what-will-my-friends think? So, we made up our minds that the next time we were out, we would go up and talk to strangers and make new friends.

  You can just imagine how that went.

  Us: Hey! Nice to meet you; we just wanted to say hello and…

  Them: Oookaaayy…*slowly backing away with a look less of surprise and more of horror on their faces*

  Some of them laughed uncomfortably and mostly it was a variety of ‘Why are you talking to me, you freak?’ reactions. Back to the drawing board we went.

  We decided that perhaps our strategy was a little too ahead of its time and thought we would ease it up a little and do a one-degree-of-separation sort of thing. We’d plan a night out and invite all our friends to come and bring along another friend each. And slowly but surely, we’d have a brilliant pay-it-forward friendship situation.

  Yes? No.

  Our first Friday Club, held 7 January 2005 (yup it was a Friday, obviously!), happened at TGIF. (Cliché enough for you?) It comprised Diya, another friend Tina Hansraj (who is just the most entertaining girl in the world. Her nickname was ‘evil’ #justsaying.) and me. Not a promising turnout, but I don’t give up easy. We persisted and eventually we went from five people to ten to twelve and so on.

  The premise of Friday Club was like ‘Going Solo’: Throw a bunch of people together on a regular basis and you’ll love some, you’ll hate some, some you won’t remember and others will become a part of your life’s DNA.

  See the thing is, as we turn into ‘grown-ups’, we’re led to believe that life is not supposed to be fun anymore. You’re meant to try and nurture your handful of childhood friendships, throw in those you made goofing around through school and college and then call it quits. Perhaps find a few new friendly faces at work, but not necessarily the kind you want to know the intimate details of your personal life. (Or risk having them tag you on Facebook dancing on tables on a Tuesday night, for your boss to see on Wednesday morning!)

  But that’s just it. The reason why most people describe their school and college years as the ‘best years of my life’ is because of the people they met and experiences they had with them. From then on, life begins to get progressively lonelier.

  Have you seen a movie called The Breakfast Club? It’s the story about a group of high-school students who go on a journey of self-discovery over one Saturday afternoon spent in detention. The key, here, is that while they are so uniquely different from each other, that is the one thing that appears to bind them all. And they end their experience with a letter to the villainous Mr Vernon saying this:

  Dear Mr Vernon,

  We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it is we did wrong, but we think you’re crazy for making us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us, in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basket case, a princess, and a criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club

  So – Friday Club.

  I believe you don’t have to stop making close, or even best friends just because you’re past a certain age or stage in your life. And you most certainly should not be restricted to making friends only at school or college or the office or in your immediate neighbourhood. What if there was somewhere you could go every weekend with no expectations or agenda and meet new people from various walks of life? Some married, some single, some ‘it’s complicated’, and get to know them in an environment devoid of the stressful end-goal of a romantic relationship. Somewhere that you can keep your inner Peter Pan alive.

  Granted this is probably the side effect of leap-frogging through my entire life and not knowing anyone for more than three years. I kept the occasional pen-pal for a few years, with actual handwritten letters on beautiful stationery at the time, but unfortunately that never stayed the course and Facebook came too late for me to find all my middle-school BFFs. I have tried in vain to locate my middle school Korean BFF In-HyeHyung on Facebook or my first crush Chris Conner – there are 4,762 of them. Chances are slim. Over the decade that Friday Club was in action I proceeded to meet some of the most incredible people I am proud to call my ‘framily’ today, friends who become family. (I’m still trying to make that word happen, just like ‘fetch’ in Mean Girls but still no luck, lol.) Many of them have moved countries, had children, gotten divorced and married again (like the Ed Sheeran song – ‘Castle On A Hill’).

  But the memories we made will stay with me forever and taught me one very important lesson in life about happiness. You can have the best job, a swanky apartment, a six-figure salary, but without emotional satisfaction – which comes from personal relationships – life can be a very lonely ride.

  There were no ‘qualifications’ required for joining the Friday Club. We just had what we jokingly referred to as our ‘non-serial killer policy’. Don’t make anyone uncomfortable and you’re golden. People could join the club by one-degree of separation meaning an introduction from an existing member and enjoy countless fun-filled evenings of bar-hopping, dancing, camping, brunches, salsa, human foosball, Diwali parties, para-gliding sessions, trips to Goa, legendary Holi parties at Rewa Bungalow and whatever else we could think of for that week. It was magic. I will also never forget a conversation my dear friend/brother and fellow FC member Chetan Kapoor had with a young new entrant about the name:

  Newbie: ‘I’m so glad I joined Friday Club, I wanted to find a place to have intellectual conversations.’

  Chetan: ‘We named our club “Friday Club” because we go out on Fridays, how intellectual do you think we are?

  Nice, Chetan.

  I have so many epic memories from those years that would make a book of its own (or perhaps a Netflix show some day?) and here’s the kicker; even though we were never a Singles Club per se, six couples met and got married at Friday Club. Including Nowshad and myself. Talk about serendipity and chalk that one up to karma.

  To anyone who was ever part of the crew, here’s a massive shout-out to you. Thank you for playing and save the date for the fifteen-year Friday Club reunion Holi Party on Tuesday, 10 March 2020!

  WHATSAPP WORLD?

  Motivational speaker Jim Rohn once said, ‘You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.’ And, for me, those people have changed multiple times over the course of my life. The ones I cling closest to now fall under a few different categories (and several WhatsApp groups) but I think the best way for my nostalgia to be of any use to you is if I share with you the lessons each one of them has taught me along the way and then you can follow them on Facebook and watch them post pictures of me dancing on tables!

  Here they are, *drumroll please* my BFFs, #PartySoulmates and #MMBirthdayCruisers, #FridayClubbers and #BandraBada$$es through the years and in order of appearance.

  *I have left out all boyfriends, heartbreaks and those hearts I broke from this book, out of respect for my husband and because that’s just a horse of a different colour.

  But thank you for everything and please know that you were loved.

  PS. Apologies in advance if I have left anyone out who tried to teach me something that I clearly didn’t quite grasp enough to document here! I love you, but I blame the Jägerbombs! Come whack me the next time we’re at a bar together and I’ll pay closer attention.

  You’ve two ways of reading this s
ection:

  A. Deep dive into my friendships and the amazing people who make up my world.

  Or B. Speed read the bold and just take their wisdom and run.

  The Pre-WhatsApp Era

  A few friends who left a lasting impact on me growing up and two who irreversibly changed my life forever.

  In-Hye Hyung: She was probably my first real best friend. We were thirteen and lived in West Africa. She was Korean and taught me how to say ‘saranghaeyo’ which means ‘I love you’ in Korean. But her lesson was intense (and boyfriend related of course). She taught me that if someone doesn’t love you, there’s no point asking them why.

  Sushant Mukherjee: Sushant is my universal twin. We’re both May-born Geminis, left-handed and IFS brats. Also, he writes brilliantly, with the kind of exceptional handwriting that no left-handed person in the world could ever achieve! Sushant has taught me that it is possible to find and infuse joy simply through caring and laughter in places where happiness has left the building.

  Tina Sharma Tewari: #SnakeSisters, before there were hashtags. Tina is now a news anchor and author herself. Read her book Who Me!, it’s fabulous fun. She has taught me that it is perfectly okay to be your own you and accept that sometimes people will be intimidated by your confidence. Also, she dated a famous cricket player, which I always thought was mad cool. Lol.

  The Game-Changers

  Natasha Vohra: aka Nikki, aka one giant beating heart. I practically lived at her house all through college and, as I mentioned before, followed her to Bombay. She taught me that generosity is best served without ceremony. Never announce that you’re doing something generous or let someone feel that they ‘owe’ you anything in return. I love you, Nikki, and thank you for moving (me) to Bombay!

  Ronica Jacob: Ron was the first real badass boss lady I encountered in my life. She ran an entire entertainment empire out of her living room and took us around the world, dancing. Her sheer confidence scared the crap out of everyone but it was good, it taught us discipline and made us all want to impress her (I later discovered she was quite a softie on the inside and cared deeply about everyone she’d ever trained). Did you know that even the actress Gracy Singh from Lagaan started her career in her troupe? Ronica taught me that practice really does make perfect. But attitude is everything. (One day I want to dance again, Ronnie, I think I can nail the attitude vibe now finally! #Prince.)