To the moon Page 25
Dear eighteen-year-old me,
If there is one thing that I know for certain now it’s that the most important currency in life is TIME. Time brings you knowledge, time can bring you success and fame. Time stores your memories. Time even has the supreme ability to heal broken hearts. When I look back at the last twenty-two years, or even the last forty, the things that stand out in my memory are all the times you laughed out loud till your stomach hurt, the times you danced your heart out on stage or sang loudly to yourself with headphones on at the radio station at midnight. Even the times you cried yourself to sleep over heartbreak and hard lessons. And most vividly, all the times you fell.
‘This too shall pass, so I do what I can to make it last.’ – ‘Embrace’, Shaa’ir and Func
Use every waking breath to learn, to grow, to love. Just like Robbin Williams said in Dead Poets Society – ‘Carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary!’
You have always been a big proponent of anticipation. Of something to look forward to.
‘Happiness is pretty simple: someone to love, something to do, something to look forward to.’ – Rita Mae Brown
But the biggest mistake you can make in waiting for the next extraordinary adventure, is wishing time away. We all know how the cliché goes, tomorrow never comes, so live today. This is truer than you can possibly imagine.
‘Forever is composed of nows.’ – Emily Dickinson
They say your life flashes by you when you’re dying, but the truth is it’s flashing right before your eyes today. Each moment is a magical opportunity to create the kind of memories that will stick in your conscious forever. The richest are those whose minds are filled with memories that didn’t fade away. Society has conditioned us to believe that the most important things in life are power and money. But that’s simply not true. We were never put on this planet to brush past each other in the pursuit of some elusive end game. We are here to experience life. To connect and engage with the rest of humanity and most importantly, to love. Its only lonely at the top if you alienate the real people in your life in the race to get there. I urge you to stop and acknowledge every day the life that you’ve been given. We are the only species capable of contemplating ourselves in this manner.
‘I think therefore I am.’ – René Descartes
Be grateful for this time. The next twenty-two years are going to be filled with unimaginable delights. You will follow your heart as you always have and it will light your path on an extraordinary adventure. Just remember to be present for it. You don’t realize it now but you have in your possession the most valuable thing of all. You have so much time.
‘If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of.’ – Bruce Lee
Love,
xoxo
MissMalini (Who you will one day be!)
PS. Best advice anyone ever gave me about doing long distance relationships.
Keep busy.
Don’t wish time away.
Blog #41: Glitter, Confetti and Rocket Ships
I have a bunch of amazing memories from my first IIFA in Malaysia. I was invited to host their backstage videos and got to see a whole other side of the stage. While I was interviewing Malaika Arora Khan, (who was looking absolutely ravishing in a white gown, I might add) Deepika Padukone appeared out of the blue and planted a kiss on my cheek for no reason. I think I blushed and beamed all night long after that! #GirlCrush
Later on, I was chatting with Farhan Akhtar and I asked him about the vibe backstage and it seems like everyone was really getting along and having a good time and he told me that Bollywood is actually like one big happy family. People get along, they hang out, it’s really not the torrid, dysfunctional war zone people make it out to be! And I saw the sweetest thing during Anushka Sharma’s performance. Ranveer Singh came to watch her entire dance on the screen backstage. He watched intensely and at the end of it burst into a loud applause for his buddy. I thought that was just awesome. And finally, and I HAVE to tell you this, Arjun Kapoor who was co-hosting the awards with Ranveer that year used a knock-knock joke I told him on stage. Wanna hear it?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ya.
Ya who?
Who do you think you are, Shammi Kapoor?
Bahahahaha.
In 2017, I went to Ekta Kapoor’s mammoth Diwali party, filled with every Bollywood and TV star and starlet you could imagine and had a wonderful time. But the moment I will always remember from that night, which will forever make me smile is this. As I was walking in, I bumped into Karan Johar wearing a seriously blingy Abu Jani and Sandeep Khosla sherwani (twinning with Sonam Kapoor) and when I told him he looked very nice he said, ‘Someone just told me I look like a Sanjay Leela Bhansali set!’ That just goes to show how epically funny Karan is and that he has learnt the true secret to life – not to take yourself too seriously. I love you, Karan Johar!
Speaking of SLB. I have the most incredible memory of him from the sets of Bajirao Mastani. My very first face-to-face with him was when he invited me to get a breath-taking look at the Aaina Mahal (mirror palace) he had created at Film City. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything quite like it. But what truly blew my mind was the interest with which he listened to my ‘zero to hero’ story. Complete with the pigeon plot and everything. Obviously, somewhere in the ever-so-slightly deluded dream-world of my mind, I started to imagine SLB making a movie on my life and began to silently cast the film. Who would play MissMalini, I wondered? (Did I mention I am easily distracted?) But if there is one person who can keep you grounded it’s Sanjay Leela Bhansali. The intensity of his gaze leaves you convinced that he has peered right into your soul and figured out how all your heartstrings work. Ripe for the plucking. #SLBisBoss
As you can see I have a ton of incredible memories through the decade I have been blogging but I thought it might be fun to get a window into my Bollywood world through my teams eyes too. Hope on over to the end for a whole host of Team MissMalini’s favourite celebrity encounters.
Also, Meghna Mirgnani (executive producer at MissMalini) sent me the best message the other day.
Dhruvil Mehta: From standing outside his house to catch a glimpse of him, and this time to see him so closely, was something very unbelievable. But somewhere I knew the fate had a different plan because this time I had the MissMalini team on my side. It all started to build up when I was waiting for my turn to meet THE Hrithik Roshan while team MM’s Priyam was interviewing him for his film Kaabil. The moment came, and that moment was beyond imaginable. He not only comforted me by saying things like. ‘You do not have to express your love I can feel it,’ but also gave me a three-second long hug which made me go from alive to numb. To have spent those 10 minutes of his life with a fan, it must be very normal for him but for me it meant the world. I got my silver lining that day. Thank you, MissMalini, for you gave me a reason to dream.
You know, I always say I understand what I do for a living isn’t about to save the world. But what if, for one brief moment, it makes it a better place for someone else? That’s good enough for me.
And to everyone who has ever asked me or my team this question, ‘How come you guys only write positive stories?’ I say this: in a world, so full of war and sadness, isn’t it up to us who live charmed lives and can do whatever we dream of doing to spend our time spreading love not hate?
We all love Bollywood so much, otherwise it wouldn’t feature in this list of things that rule the Indian consciousness. ‘ABCD’ – Astrology, Bollywood, Cricket and Devotion. For many, Bollywood offers a dream, a three-hour escape from a difficult or mundane life, an alternate universe if you will, filled with endless possibilities. Which is why we care about the stars who feature in them – what they eat, where they go, whom they date, what they wear – because it is simply an extension of that dream. So, isn’t it a little hypocritical to love the magic but tear apart the dreamers who bring it all to life? Then would
n’t a better question be to those who constantly criticize, ‘How come you guys only write negative stories?’ And to steal a lyric from Kishore Kumar and one of my favourite songs from the original Dostana:
Mere doston, tum karo faisla,
Khata kiski hai,
Kisko de hum sazaa?
Blog #42: #AskMissMalini
I started by saying that the answer to life, the universe and everything is 42. It’s only fair that I put my thing down and flip it and reverse it – only Missy Elliot fans got that reference – and let you ask the questions. Towards this, I asked my subscribers on social media to send me their questions. I promised them that a selected few questions would make it to my book. And now ladies and gentlemen, I give you, the people v/s MissMalini!
1. Priya Mishra: What kept you going in your tough times? Are you a meditator? If so, how long do you practise and how?
I guess for me tough times have always been when there was any emotional upheaval, never professionally, so diving into work was a huge respite. I am happy to say I have always loved all my jobs, no matter what I did. Maybe challenging/tiring, but it never made me sad, does that make sense? Also, unfortunately no, I’m not a meditator. I’ve always wanted to try it, but I can’t seem to find the time (lame I know, since it only takes 5 minutes) but I’m so easily distracted, I think I’d find it difficult to focus. I occasionally use a meditation app to fall asleep to, which involves sounds of the ocean! It’s called Calm.
2. Kadambari Singh: How do you plan everything around you? What keeps you motivated even on days when nothing seems to be working right? Don’t you ever feel overwhelmed?
Honestly, my days are all kinds of crazy. Some days I don’t know whether I’m coming or going and almost every day I wake up and the hours race by in a blur, leaving me wondering where my day went. But time flies when you’re having fun, right? I rely heavily on my Google calendar to keep me on track. Plus, my A-Team: Ambika (personal assistant), Nelly (stylist), Yeansha (stylist’s assistant) and Eshwar (hair and makeup) are always on point to schedule my life and keep me in perfect form from top to toe, no matter how wild my day gets! #razzledazzle
Stress is a given with this kind of non-stop living and it can be overwhelming at times, I try to switch off with my friends on the weekends and go dancing (but truth be told I’m never offline until my phone battery dies). Staying happy is about reminding myself what a blessed life I have to be living my dream and the luxury to hit snooze at least 5 times each morning.
3. PPayal Ved Liju and @acharmedlifein: How do you strike a balance between your work and personal life?
I have never could tell where work stops and my personal life begins. It all seems to overlap. The upside of that is work doesn’t feel like work but the challenge is that it’s easy to get caught up in it all. Nowshad and I working together is a great boon because we understand each other’s work commitments and often get to travel together, making work into play and enjoying it like a holiday. But we also never stop working in a sense. We’re both lucky to have very supportive families and when you live apart from them you can make more quality time together when you meet. Our favourite thing to do to together to unwind, is watch Netflix and actually chill!
4. @smashingsamriddhi What’s at least one thing that you want to change about your life?
I guess the only thing I’d change about my life if I could (and I should) is not taking out any time to focus on my health and fitness. I know it’s going to catch up with me one day, the lack of sleep and exercise. I keep promising myself I’ll join a class or adopt a healthier diet but butter chicken calls my name after midnight on a regular basis, what to do? I’m gearing up to start yoga and meditation in 2018 and my friend Junelia is going to introduce me to Reiki 1, which I’m looking forward to. #ProjectZen #MMDetox
(My friends will all laugh reading this because all my grand detox-month plans only ever last till Friday. Laugh it up soulmates, laugh it up.)
5. @niks_wanderlust: How can I join your team?
Email arti@missmalini.com with your resume, a cover letter and fifty words on why you belong at TeamMissMalini. Well, that was easy!
6. @__equinox__: What’s the one thing that keeps you motivated? What’s left on your bucket list?
I’m motivated essentially by FOMO, the Fear of Missing Out! To be completely honest, a lot of times when I don’t feel like getting out of bed, the FOMO kicks in and I jump to it. Aside from that I would say I’m an ambitious person, so my motivation to shoot for the moon runs in my veins.
There are probably a billion things left on my bucket list (the Bollywood versions of which you will find at the end of this book.) But one I’ve always had, since as long as I can remember, is to open a massive glass door and step out on to the balcony of a house located right on the beach (the one just like in the movie Sleeping with The Enemy) knowing it belongs to me and feeling the salty breeze on my face standing next to someone who loves me. *sigh*
7. @drishti0694: How do you define MissMalini in just one sentence? Also, if MissMalini was a superwoman, what would her superpowers be?
MissMalini is your happy shiny Bollywood BFF!
If I had a super power, it would be to travel through time.
8. @anushka.purohit: What part of your job do you look forward to most every day, and what has this unique job taught you?
I look forward to waking up and scrolling through all your comments on social media and the blog. It makes me smile to see all of you living and breathing there. I also love when I have shoot days for my TV show and a chance to sit and write something myself (preferably in PJs on my sofa.)
This job has taught me that you don’t have to be asleep to live in the world your dreams. And that relationships are everything.
9. @sumiran_g: MissMalini has never been in any controversy. You’ve kept everything clean and made sure your news never hurt anyone. What do you do to make sure it doesn’t happen? Also, to what do you attribute your success?
I have a very simple rule – I won’t write anything I couldn’t say to your face. That pretty much keeps the soul of the blog clean. I also believe that while a little gossip is all fun and games, once it starts to get dark and ugly, it’s not gossip anymore. Then its revelling in someone else’s misery and that’s not cool. I believe the secret to my success has been hard work, passion, an incredible team and being unabashedly positive!
10. @flexcia_dsouza: In the initial stages, how did you monetize your blog? How difficult is it to explain to brands how blogging works? Did you work for free? Is it the right thing to do?
Initially, the blog survived purely on barter and I survived on the income from my radio show and my job at Channel [v]. It took a long time for brands to understand and get on board with the impact of influencer marketing, and I’m proud to say we did a lot of the grunt work for many of the thriving bloggers today. My blog was not a business when it started so the goal was never making money. I wrote about the things that I loved or intrigued me and often those would overlap with brands. For a good year, I did things on barter – if you want to call that for free – when they would fly me somewhere or give me products to review. But my rule was to only ever feature things I endorsed. I’m proud to say we maintain till this today.
Honestly, it is entirely a personal decision to work for free or expect be paid. To expand my blog and turn it into a media network, I obviously needed to look at it from a business perspective. I believe I have always been always entirely upfront about anything that was sponsored and my followers know that.
But if someone wants to barter their way around the world who’s to say that’s wrong either? After all the first currency of the human race was the barter system, right?
11. @shivani_v_07: How has your journey been till now? Does your success overwhelm you sometimes?
You have no idea how surreal it all is! I’m sitting here on my pink sofa answering these questions and I still can’t believe I’m writing the last chapters of my b
ook. An actual book about MY life. You know how everyone always says they want to write a book one day? Ya. That. Overwhelming much?
My journey has been nothing short of mind-blowing and supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. These days I’ve been having this existential crisis of ‘Why am I me?’ and the only answer I can think of is because the universe thinks it’s my birthday.
12. @tiya_tultuli: Who, according to you, is the most inspirational Bollywood celeb and why?
You know I feel there are so many that inspire different people in different ways. Whether it’s through their charity work or the bravery they have shown coming forward with their personal traumas. The fact that millions, sometimes billions of people find some sort of personal joy in a Bollywood movie, song or star means they are all winning. If you’re asking me who inspires me most, it has to be Aamir Khan. But then again I’ve had a crush on him since I was ten!
13. @Sharan Mehra: Do you prefer being a blogger to a radio jockey? What would you be if you were neither of the two?
Hi Sharan, and thanks for being a supporter since my radio days. It’s so hard to pick, radio was my first love and blogging is my soulmate. I love that today I get to do it all, blog, TV, radio and who knows what’s next?
If I wasn’t a blogger or radio jockey…initially I wanted to be a criminal lawyer (probably from watching too many TV shows) or I’d be a therapist because I think I’d make a good one.
14. @ry_scientist: How did you plan to start a website when you had no technical domain background and how did you pull off getting the digital life of Bollywood blogging in India when it wasn’t even anticipated?
When I started, my friend Karan Wadhera made me a WordPress account, which has a pretty badass backend for rookie bloggers. The CMS is very intuitive and you can just sign up and blog your heart out with very little technical expertise.