To the moon Page 21

  And taking it back to Tweety bird here. Wouldn’t Uncle Kracker’s smash hit ‘Follow Me’ have been the perfect theme song for Twitter?!

  ‘You don’t know how you met me,

  You don’t know why,

  You can’t turn around

  And say goodbye,

  All you know is when I’m with you

  I make you free

  And swim through your veins

  Like a fish in the sea,

  I’m singing’

  Follow me Everything is all right,

  I’ll be the one to tuck you in at night,

  And if you want to leave

  I can guarantee

  You won’t find nobody else like me.’

  Blog #32: How to Be a #BossLady

  ‘A Bawse knows that if you want to be taken seriously, you need to show people who you are, and then keep showing them.’ — Lilly Singh, How to Be a Bawse: A Guide to Conquering Life

  There are quite a few women I have come across in my life (obviously, Lilly Singh being one of them) that I admire to no end. I thought what better way to tell you how to be a ‘boss lady’ or ‘girl boss’ than to learn a few lessons from these power-houses themselves.

  Side note: I was trying to find out who coined the term ‘boss lady’ in the first place but only discovered this definition of ‘boss’ via a Google search:

  Boss is Dutch in origin and is a bastardization of the Dutch ‘base.’ Its use was a uniquely American way of avoiding the word ‘master,’ which had quickly become associated with slavery by the mid-nineteenth century.

  Okay then! But the term has since evolved significantly and found its place in the Urban Dictionary1 to mean something more like this: ‘She demands respect, and gets it, she is the Boss Lady.’ Undoubtedly the women in this blog have done far more than demand respect, they have earned it and set the bar very high for entrepreneurs, leaders and forward thinkers today – inspiring not just women, but hopefully men as well.

  Anupama Chopra – film critic and digital soldier

  The most important learning on my journey has been the importance of a work ethic. I believe it’s more critical than talent or timing. There is simply no substitute for hard work. You need to put in the hours and keep at it even when you are bone tired and ready to give up. That is really the only way to success. And when you do achieve success, don’t stop to pat yourself on the back – as Dory said in Finding Nemo, ‘Just keep swimming.’

  Dia Mirza – actor, producer, director (Born Free Entertainment Pvt. Ltd)

  So much about running an enterprise is about the skill of people management. To be a good leader one has to learn the art of communication, clarity, articulation of thought. I have discovered over the last eight years of running Born Free Entertainment that efficiency at the work place can be guaranteed only when you strive to keep your whole team connected through communication.

  Ekta Kapoor – joint managing director and creative director of Balaji Telefilms

  Looking back, my rebellion began the first time someone said, ‘You can’t do that!’ After years of swimming against the tide, the rebellion continues. Even today, I believe that being a boss has nothing – and yet everything – to do with being a lady.

  No one fixes things like a woman does, especially if it’s about fixing archaic notions.

  This industry used to be predominantly male dominated, and we’re fixing this lop-sided thought, one step at a time. For most part, we’ve been brought up believing we need to look up to a ‘hero’. Have someone whom you can emulate, someone who inspires you and someone who has your back. Well in my two-decade long journey, I learnt to stop looking around for one and instead decided to become my own. Take charge of your dreams, after all you owe it to yourself.

  Ekta Rajani – consulting fashion director, Grazia, independent stylist and brand consultant

  People do as you do, not as you instruct. Whatever you wish to teach teams, you do yourself. Switch off personal judgements, apply work-related standards only. Be sensitive as women often are. And firm. They are not mutually exclusive. It allows for teams to be cohesive, constructively critical and resilient. Take feedback and evolve. Each team and generation is different. Respond from changing points of view.

  Masaba Gupta – fashion designer, founder, House of Masaba

  I think the one thing that I have learnt as a boss lady is that you should never take yourself too seriously. It’s very important that you learn to laugh at yourself and just take everything that happens to you with a pinch of salt because I think so many of us make mistakes, deal with failures and also deal with a great deal of success. Somethings come to us so easy and somethings just never happen, no matter how hard we try. I feel like neither success nor failure should be taken seriously at all because it’s all in a matter of minutes and things can change. And there’s one thing my mother taught me – always remember to laugh it off at the end of the day, no matter what happens. If you can just shake it off your back, you’ll always do well because then you’re not afraid to fail or be spontaneous.

  Nonita Kalra – editor, Harper’s Bazaar

  My best career advice? Understanding the actions of a former boss. Since loyalty is my greatest failing, I refused a huge job – top billing, international organization, more money – because I felt hadn’t stopped learning from him. He forced me to accept the new job with the simple diktat: Go out and make me proud.

  This simple act taught me generosity. It taught me the importance of mentorship.

  Payal Khandwala – painter and clothes maker

  As someone who painted her whole life I worked in an insular environment with full control. Now, running a business, managing a team of fifty plus people, I learnt very quickly to train and trust my team. I had to let go of micromanaging and learn the art of delegating. This was tough but not impossible.

  However, I would advise my younger self to be a little more assertive. I have learnt now that in situations where I’m uncomfortable or where I feel overextended a simple ‘No’ is a prerequisite. Someone told me once: ‘If you can’t bring yourself to say no, just say let me think about it and get back to you.’ Seems like such simple advice but to be honest it took me a long time to exercise it.

  For the most part I don’t think of myself as the boss of anyone, my team is my family and I respect them, take into account their feedback, even criticism and, most importantly, laugh with them. It’s a very flat organization because respect can only be earned., the one you demand is topical and doesn’t go the distance.

  Preeta Sukhtankar – founder, The Label Life

  Perseverance and hard work are the only way to get where you want to go. They will help you ride every storm. And follow your instinct, not impulse but instinct. Hone and understand the difference – it is never wrong. We’ve built a whole business by this rule. Our style editors Malaika Arora Khan, Sussanne Roshan and Bipasha Basu, here at thelabellife.com embody another quality I admire and one that needs nurturing especially for young Indian women growing up in this country – fearlessness. Fearlessness to speak up, fearlessness to ask for what you want whether a raise or a date with that hottie – do it!

  Priya Tanna – editor, Vogue

  All my learnings about dealing with people at a professional level have actually had very little to do with being either a boss or a woman. It’s the way I chose to conduct myself at the start of my career twenty-three years ago, and it is has stayed with me till date. We spend so much of our time with work colleagues, we rarely realize that we spend more than half our waking hours with them. Without a doubt, it is imperative to stay professional especially when you are leading a team. Which means setting clear goals, sharing them with the team and taking their feedback to make them feel a part of the process and not just the execution. It also means having a clear view of the work culture you would like to build, laying down fair and well-defined guidelines and being firm about the non-negotiables.

  Truth is, you can’
t work or succeed in isolation and that top-down companies are rapidly turning obsolete. I have mostly led women centric teams and attribute much of my professional success and career highs to being surrounded by an incredibly talented bunch of people. And in my experience, open communication, empathy and emotional support have been critical in retaining and maintaining a great team that does great work.

  Rohini Iyer – founder, Raindrop Media

  My biggest learning about being a boss lady would be to not let success go to your head or failure to your heart. It’s important to celebrate all the highs life gives you and learn from your lows. I treat every hurdle, every low and every challenge as a learning. The advice I would give to my younger self would be ‘Don’t be in a hurry to grow up.’ I feel ‘adulting’ is completely overrated and not what they make it out to be. So, I would tell my younger self to ‘never grow up’.

  Shalini Agarwal – founding partner, In Se Legal

  Having co-founded two other law firms prior to setting up In Se Legal I have had more than my share of being boss lady! Who said being a boss lady was easy, it’s more like an acronym for ‘being on a slippery slope’ and that’s apt because you must strategize on how best to negotiate the path ahead. A bit like parenting – there is no one size fits all, or universal recipe for success. Hindsight, had it appeared earlier as foresight, would have been a pretty helpful tool for how to play the game right. I also soon realized that respect is at best commanded and not demanded, and that is easier said than done! I also realized bullies don’t only exist in the playground. Corporate boardrooms are tough places and grit and nerves of steel are a necessary survival tool. Last but not least: stay the course, believe in yourself and your vision and push on – no matter what.

  Srimoyi Bhattacharya – founder, Peepul Consulting

  In the age of insta(nt) gratification, I believe that you build domain thought leadership when you have a vision beyond a transaction with the interest of an industry. Be inclusive and think long term is our key to success.

  In the business I have chosen, which is advisory in PR and marketing, where we basically enable brands through relationships, our key to success has been to be inclusive and to sustain them. Staying connected to my competitors and building a rapport has helped us build an industry together where there has been no governance but norms, values or rules we are building together as professionals. This inclusive thinking applies to our client relations and media relations as every person helps move the envelope and is mobile. We are flat in our structure and in our overall approach, everyone is someone today and tomorrow. Sustaining relationships and then big ideas. We practice this in our brand strategy as well as concepts that have sometimes a year of gestation are the most impactful and memorable with patience and persistence being critical on all fronts. Be inclusive, think long-term and sustain so you build relationships, not transactions.

  Rega Jha – editor, BuzzFeed India

  Gender stereotyping is so insidious. Myths like female incompetency of over-emotionality get inside of us – we see them around us, and start believing they’re true about ourselves. I’ve spent so much time, as a manager, second-guessing whether I’m being too emotional about a decision, and feeling like an imposter to my own influence, simply because of stereotypes. While we fight for equality and freedom in the external world, an equivalent battle may be in our own minds, against our own conditioning. It’s taken hard work for me to trust my own gut and to break out of the suspicion that my instincts, as a woman, are ‘irrational’ or wrong. My hope for every woman manager and showrunner is to do the hard work it takes to get out of our own ways and trust ourselves, despite the constant cultural messaging that we’re incompetent, weak, over-emotional, or whatever else, and to do that work early on.

  Sunaina Kwatra – country manager Louis Vuitton

  Advice I Got: ‘Don’t come to me with problems. Come to me with solutions.’ My father instilled that in me growing up and it has helped me my entire career. Approaching any audience with well-thought of ideas and action plans versus simply stating problems will allow for a more open and positive way in solving obstacles. Challenges are natural but strategic thinking is critical. People respect proactive thinking, so be accountable and communicate problems with a solution and/or opportunity.

  Advice I Would Like to Give: You will thrive in your professional life if you enjoy the environment you work in and if you have the support system in place that allows you to succeed. Make sure your work place brings out your passion and happiness. Always ensure you have a boss and/or mentor that will foster your professional and personal growth.

  As a boss, I strive to develop and nurture my team as much as people, employing learnings from my experiences and all the great bosses I’ve had over the years. Make it a priority that your team is happy, motivated and understands their professional path.

  Falguni Peacock – designer

  Being the boss lady comes with its challenges and it takes a while to find your ground, every single day you learn something new and I am on constant auto correct. Also, what I learnt is that you need to be patient, and should take criticism positively.

  Pernia Qureshi – fashion entrepreneur

  Starting and running my own business has taught me many things but if I had to choose the most important lesson it would be to have a good attitude. Attitude is everything when it comes to work. I learnt that as the boss I should set the tone of the company. If I am excited and serious about what I do, that energy will pass on to everyone else. Even in difficult times I have learnt that keeping a good positive attitude and confident demeanour is a must! The moment you crumble everything else does too. I’m still a work in progress, but I’m constantly striving to have the best possible attitude when it comes to being a boss. This is something I value the most in employees and coworkers too. When someone who works with me is sincere, willing and motivated, that’s makes them much more valuable than if they are highly skilled. Just as I want to be a good boss, I also want people with good personalities around me. Attitude is infectious!

  In October 2016, I had the great privilege of visiting Washington DC along with fifty female bloggers and influencers from around the world to listen to – arguably the most charismatic boss lady of them all – Michelle Obama.

  A perfect example of brands finding a way to connect with their target audience in a meaningful and memorable way, Maybelline and Glamour magazine teamed up on ‘The Day of the Girl’ to spread the word on a project close to Michelle Obama’s heart. The mission? To focus extensively on female education and ‘Help Girls Graduate’, enabling and empowering them to live better lives.

  One of the many inspiring things she said, which gives me goosebumps till this day just thinking about it, was that standing in front of this room full of female influencers from around the world she felt a sense of hope. She is optimistic about the future of the world she said, because standing in front of her were just a few of tomorrow’s mothers, sisters, teachers, leaders and more. And she felt confident that this generation of women is going to teach our fathers, husbands, brothers and sons both empathy and kindness, enabling us to make the world a better place. Because it is WE who will parent the next generation of girls and boys who will grow up to be tomorrow’s parents and mentors and it’s up to us what values we teach them and what lessons they learn. Boom. Kinda makes you want to have children now so we can set the world straight, right?

  Feels, right? All kinds of feels.

  And of course, she also stressed the importance of ‘girl love’, which urges women everywhere to support one another and stop tearing each other down because society has convinced us that the only way to rise is with someone else’s fall. That’s just simply not true. Here’s what she said:

  ‘We can all rise together, OK, we can all win. And we’re sometimes taught in our societies that we have to compete; we have to hold each other back in order for one of us to succeed but THAT IS NOT TRUE. We need each other. And all over t
he world we have to be a team of women and girls who love each other, and value each other and cherish one another. Because if we don’t cherish each other, no one else will. So let’s start there and start working together and find a way that we are going to lift up some other girl in our lives. Maybe it’s a little sister, a neighbour but you can be a mentor today. So, do that, do that work now. Get in the habit of that. You all with me?’ – Michelle Obama

  We’re with you, Michelle! In fact, mega #GirlBoss Lilly Singh aka iiSuperwomanii launched her very own and very successful #GirlLove campaign to combat girl-on-girl hate in 2015. Her then audience of 7.4 million (she now has 12.5 million, 84 per cent of which are women) flooded the internet with positive tweets.

  That was so inspiring that I thought why not extend this #GirlLove to Bollywood. An industry rife with cut throat competition often leading to female animosity within a peer group of other female actors. What I found was heart-warming. All the actresses I approached to share some love for each another were genuinely enthusiastic and sent heartfelt messages. I thought you might enjoy hearing what Bollywood’s belles said about each other. Here’s some Bollywood #GirlLove!

  Katrina Kaif – There are very few people who catch my attention in terms of the way they work and Priyanka Chopra is someone who did. I think it’s very hard to work the number of hours that she is. For me, if I come to know that I’ll get lesser sleep, I am already panicking in my head; and the number of flights she gets on and off! I see her one day in Bombay and then two days later she’s in LA. It’s a lot of dedication to put in and that’s definitely caught my attention.